Puddles tell the story of a rainy day...

Friday, July 09, 2004
weee

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Posted at 10:51 pm by Cat
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Saturday, April 10, 2004
a happy day then you pay

just got back from the bathroom. ya i was in there for an hour working on the second song to make my first ep out this summer *hopefully*.  I realized that the only way i  really like guitar is if i'm playing my songs. i hate doing other bands songs...I make my songs through repetition, not like the greats. I think thats what makes me a lot like avril lavigne. her guitar is super easy but the main focus is her voice. Although my lyrics are much more complex than hers....Honestly i dont want to be a superstar singer...and as many would be like ya right i'm telling the truth. I just want to make good music and have people listen to me. I dont want to be some big star like britney spears and thats what sets a musician from an artist in my opinion. An artist is someone like britney spears  but a musician is someone like fiona apple...or ani difranco. I LOVE THEM. weither it be this year, next year ...or 5 years from now...i will have a cd out to be proud of. new blog......this is for everyone to see what i did...not really my feelings or anything...coming up roses.....talk to yall later
<3 cat.

Posted at 12:04 am by Cat
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Tuesday, April 06, 2004
"something bads going to happen"

first single finished...i hate it but i can't wait to show some people. maybe i can get some input on it like different guitar..because i hate the guitar in it. who knows. but i learned that if i use my dell mp3 to record it in the bathroom its pretty good recording..once i get like 3 songs i'll get it done right of course, but just for practicing purposes its pretty good. what makes me soo mad is that raven girl she sucks and yet she gets all the good producers and crap to vibe up her voice, same with hilary duff. ugh. seriously. dude i love this avril lavigne song-dont tell me. i dont care how many people say shes a poser and they hate her..she has a good voice. its weird and unique i like it. so screw you boo ya. hahaha. i saw tori amos on some show yesturday i was like boo ya you go girl she had this HUGE piano i was just thinking....WANNA GIVE ME A LESSON haha. it was hcore cool.alex  and i hung out everyday so far...today we prolly wont cuz i'll be going to the mall. i'm starting to fall for him real bad. real bad. he was singing and playing acoustic at the coffee shop last night hes not a bad singer at all!...i was surprised. maybe we'll stop at guitar center today oh boy oh boy!...umm i had the BEST dream.....we moved to florida it seemed like i knew everyone but they didn't really like me that much because they were jealous. i was going on my "world tour" in a week...getting all amped up with my guitar and stuff i was super excited. alex hated me though which was weird.  he was like "when are you leaving for your world tour"...then i was like "next week"..and he was liek good. i almost died in my dream..and my mom died. ohhh man...last night...i kept saying to everyone something bad is going to happen...well something did. mom found another mary jane pipe in mi broskis room...well ya. she took it away-again. i wish he woujdlnt do that crap..it  hurts me..thats what the songs about...maybe if i figure out how to do it..and i get a new keyboard for my computer. it broke again. yay...yes i'm being sarcastic. wow i really like this avril song hahaha...

Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love
Guys are so hard to trust
Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck
Will get you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
<3Cat

Posted at 11:09 am by Cat
Comments (3)

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
wah

well i got in a fight with alex yesturday, he cried. i felt bad......maybe he does care for me more than i think he does that is....whateva. tennis sucks. i suck. school sucks...2 MORE DAYS TILL FREEDOM. god i can't wait. global test tomorrow oh well didn't study, i dont care.........................booo yyyaaaa
<3 Caitlin
and i do not think anyone knows
what they're doing here
and your friends have left you
you've been dismissed
i never thought it would come to this
and i, i want you to know

everyone's got to face down the demons
maybe today you could put the past away

Posted at 07:35 pm by Cat
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Sunday, March 28, 2004
come to you like a little girl

saying yes to alex meant nothing. being his girlfriend meant nothing, because it didn't have that bond. now i have it because i expressed my feelings. and i feel delighted...but yet so terrible..i have set myself up for a fall...or a chance to push........scared as hell. emotions suck. love sucks. is it really worth it? for HIM (not alex) it would be............great. lovely. wonderful. sense sarcasim? please do. ----love caitlin
slowly gunna make you love me more....

Posted at 11:07 pm by Cat
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Thursday, March 25, 2004
bbbaaammmmm

I'm going to start writing a book...based on that summer......the summer between adolecense and growing up........i miss that summer...you never knew it was coming...never knew the word adult would be slapped onto your forehead like the word love in junior high. And now that the worlds accepting me with unopen arms, i want to go back.  Prying the worlds arms open is harder than i ever intended it to be....but isn't it hard for everyone? If you think growing up is tough..then maybe your just not grown up enough.

Posted at 05:37 pm by Cat
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Sunday, March 21, 2004
what i give to you is just what i'm going through...

ugh. why is it that i can't do anything right. i want to be the best. i want to be on top. i want people to say wow i wanna be her, shes smart, a very accomplished young lady....shes going places. but yet here i am.....nothing. my dads constantly bringing me down, my brother is...i miss him. my dad called me a bitch the other day..no i'm not a bitch i'm just not afraid to say what i feel anymore...well that is if they're treating me bad or something. i'm not afraid to say hey shut the fuck up because you know what you dont know me you've never made me feel like i actually am doing good, you've never brought me up....you've never loved me. okay so i'd never say that but i would say hey shut the fuck up indeed. his words are like knifes dipped in coffee and smoke, but his actions are paved in gold. which means he says the cruelest things, but he does do nice things for me. and i know that. but whys he gotta bring me down. i'd rather him say "hey cat today, you did a real good job i'm proud of you"...then him taking me to tennis and blah blah blah. you know the list goes on.  i'm sick of his bickering. i'm sick of my stress...i just want to be on top. seems like i never can be...i've tried so hard.....but "caitlins so lazy"-korey...ya i dont mean to whip out the accomplishment list but you know what i think i'm going to have to...

BUFFALO NEWS NEXT CORRESPONDANT
DECA MEMBER
KEY CLUB MEMBER
PHOTO CLUB SECRATARY
PHOTOGRAPHY STUDENT
CONTINUED IN SPANISH
SCHOOL STORE WORKER
55 HOURS + IN COMMUNITY SERVICE
FALL FESTIVAL VOLUNTEER
INTERMEDIATE SCHOOL HALLOWEEN PARTY VOLUNTEER
TENNIS LESSONS
SUMMER TENNIS CAMP
1ST SINGS VARSITY TENNIS ON BOYS TEAM
MUNY TENNIS (SINGLES) TOURNAMENT PARTICIPATOR
CARL SCHOFF TENNIS TOURNAMENT (SINGLES) SEMI-FINALIST
CARL SCOFF TENNIS TOURNAMENT (DOUBLES) PARTICIPANT
GENESEE TENNIS CLUB 2002 BKS CHAMPION
DECA STATE CAREER CONFERENCE MARCH 10TH-MARCH 12TH ATENDEE
VOTING DELEGATE AT DECA STATE CAREER CONFERENCE
FASHION MERCHANDISING PROMOTION 10 PAGE ESSAY PLAN AND PRESENTATION NY STATE- COMPETITION FINALIST
SELF TAUGHT TO PLAY GUITAR
SPANISH CLUB
DRIVER EDUCATION.

this was all this years accomplishments...not that many but surely 10x more than what he does....lets take a look
SMOKES POT
DRINKS
...UMMM
thats all folks...

i'm not going anywhere...i'm a low life...89'd average retard. and i try for no reason.. sometimes you just want to give up. completely. wear the same clothes everyday...play guitar all day everyday....skip school...and say fuck you in the mirror for motivation. but i have 5 voices in my head...maybe even more
VOICE 1-GIVE UP
VOICE 2- YOUR STRONGER THAN THE REST, KEEP GOING
VOICE 3-STOP EATING YOUR FAT
VOICE 4- CAITLIN YOUR NOT MESSED UP LIKE THE REST OF THE TEENAGERS, STOP BEING STUPID
VOICE 5-IF YOU THINK GROWING UP IS TOUGH WELL YOUR JUST NOT GROWN UP ENOUGH.
go away voices..let me be myself, make me stop worrying...and believe.

Posted at 09:23 pm by Cat
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your comin home

wow. i can't wait till summer...i had a dream about boston. ugh i can't wait to go there!....august august come on august! dirty slut. ugh. that song that i've been working on really sucks....i wish i was a good guitar player.. haha. i want to drink a pepsi so bad, but i think thats whats been hurting my heart..owow:-( i can't wait till summer so bad....spanish test monday and tuesday...::sigh:: whats the point of trying anymore i can never be as good as i want to be::tear::...aw pitty caitlin day:-p concert last night was FUN!.........i met some people, okay i met GUYS. haha. they're the only ones that talk to me so hahaha:-p....the one f-ing guy slapped my ass i called him a jerk, he got away easy...lucky sob. adam b is soooo cute!i need a job, theres so much crap i want to buy ...new wardrobe, guitar stand, guitar strap, damn this sucks. ugh have i ever told you how much i love damien rice...well i love damien rice... here by my side an angel................CAT [matt good]

Posted at 10:33 am by Cat
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
555

i'm on the phone now with alex... hes so gay......... "wow caitlin your staying up really late today" then you let me down....dr

Posted at 08:59 pm by Cat
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
*

long week...so much stress. heart hurts so much i dont know whats wrong. i just can't wait till friday....but i have a hectic weekend so ugh. i can't wait till sunday..ugh i have to see alex..er i can't wait till next weekend.......score. -cat theres no place that i could be without you honestly all the weatherstorms i bring

Posted at 07:31 pm by Cat
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